Nine till Five
by Amethystbutterflies
Summary: Jack Harkness is gay and lonely, until a brown haired women sweeps into his hair salon, bringing with her, welsh accents and news of a coffee that's as good as sex.


**AN: I don't own Torchwood...sadly...there'd be a lot more fluff if I did :)**

**I better confess, this was written, when I went to visit Rietta, back in April, we went to Pizza hut and this story popped into my head. So enjoy. This is so AU it's shouldn't exist:p**

**Enjoy. Massive thank you to Rietta for her beta on this.**

**Nine till Five**

Gwen Cooper ducked quickly into the hair salon and grinned widely at the man behind the counter. He had impeccably styled brown hair; gorgeous blue eyes; a dark pink shirt covering what Gwen was sure would be a fabulous body; and tight black jeans that left little to enlighten the imagination.

"Afternoon! Welcome to Torchwood Hair Salon, I'm Jack Harkness. How can I help?"

Gwen grinned back. It suddenly didn't matter that she'd had a rough morning. "Hi, I have an appointment under Cooper for twelve fifteen."

Jack scanned the book in front of him before smiling again. "You sure do, honey. Take a seat and I'll go and get you an apron; and we can talk about what you want doing."

Gwen smiled in thanks as he headed towards the back of the salon to get the required equipment. When he returned he helped her off with her coat and led her over to a chair in front of a mirror. "Now Miss Cooper, what can I do for you?"

Gwen eyed her hair in the mirror. "Fix this bird's nest before I shave it off."

Jack laughed gently. "What happened hon?"

"Can't you tell? I went to these hairdressers in Newport when I was visiting a friend. They had a student mix my colour and it came out a colour looking like I've been rolling around in pig shite!"

Jack looked shocked as he glanced over Gwen's hair with disdain. "Oh no, dahling that's terrible! Was your friend as horrified as I am?"

"Oh he was, he offered to sue the salon."

"And he should! Let's see what I can do for you?" Jack grabbed a colour manual of the wall and plonked himself down in the chair beside Gwen. "Right, you have a mix of colours in your hair, so I recommend we go no more than two colours, something soft and gentle. Oh! This would look gorgeous with your skin complexion."

Gwen looked at the hair piece and smiled. "I like it."

Jack smiled. "Chocolate brown and some subtle red low-lights I think."

Gwen grinned. "Sounds fabulous."

Laughing lightly, Jack hurried into the back to mix the colours while Gwen reached into her handbag to pull out her phone. Skimming the address book, Gwen found the number she wanted and sent the text quickly. _'Got into the salon. Time to get the pig shite corrected.'_

Within minutes her phone buzzed in her lap. '_Fabulous hon. Can't wait to see the new look.'_

Smiling she tapped out her own response. '_Drinks tonight? My treat. We'll curl up with Bridget Jones and have "sex on the beach".'_

"Something sounds very gay," Jack laughed, appearing over Gwen's shoulder.

Gwen turned to Jack. "My friend just lost his job, the one in Newport. He's had a massive redundancy pay out but he hates being cooped up; and he loves to work."

Jack sighed. "Economy these days…"

"You don't happen to have any vacancies coming up?"

Jack laughed. "How cute is he? And is he gay?"

Gwen laughed and felt her phone buzz again. She whipped out her phone, with a speed that Jack seemed to be impressed with.

He smiled at the look on Gwen's face.

'_As long as my sex on the beach is with Colin Firth and you get Hugh Grant.'_

Tapping at speed she typed back: '_And here I was thinking you want Reese Witherspoon xx P.S. hairdresser wants to know just how gay you are.'_

Putting her phone away she turned to Jack and met his eyes in the mirror. "Well, I think he's gay, he acts like he's gay, but he has had a few girlfriends under his belt."

Jack laughed gently and began to part Gwen's hair, pinning various parts up as he layered the dye on her hair and covered the sections in tinfoil; separating the segments of different colours to ensure the low lights would be subtle.

"How long have you known him?" Jack asked, curious.

"I've been friends with Ianto for about nineteen years."

"Wow," Jack murmured. "Close then?"

Gwen nodded. "Ianto and I were in primary and high school together. We went to the same college and university. Sadly we don't work for the same company, Ianto worked initially for Nicky Clarke. He then quit and worked for SMIF, putting his degree to use."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Bit of a career difference…"

"Nicky Clarke was his uni work."

"Work he did for cash at university then?"

Gwen nodded. "Yeah, he did a degree in accounting and finance."

"Sounds like fun."

Gwen grinned. "I did teaching."

Jack laughed. "Now, there's a difference!"

Gwen's phone buzzed and she picked it up, reading the text. After a moment, she laughed. '_Reese Witherspoon isn't in Bridget Jones's Diary love, don't you know your chick flicks? And tell your hairdresser that I'm as gay as he is hot.'_

Gwen raised her eyebrows and eyed Jack up and down in the mirror before laughing. She held her phone in her hands as she tried to think of a reply to send back.

Jack was silent as he worked.

Gwen's hair was covered in strips of tin foil and hair dye and, for the first time, Gwen noticed the quiet music in the back ground.

_You are the dancing queen! Young and sweet! Only seventeen! Dancing queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine! Oh yeah! You can dance! You can jive! Having the time of your life! Ooh… See that girl! Watch that scene! Digging the dancing queen!_

Smiling, Gwen raised her head and noticed Jack silently mouthing the words. "Abba, Jack?"

Jack grinned. "Honey… Do you know any gay man that doesn't like Abba?"

"Remind me to check Ianto's CD collection."

Jack laughed. "Doesn't he?"

"I'm not sure. If we have music on, it's the soundtrack to either Bridget Jones or Legally Blonde… Or quite possibly Westlife."

Jack gasped and raised his hand to his chest as if wounded. "No ABBA?"

Gwen laughed. "Well, not when I'm around."

"Each to their own, but I may have to meet him and convert him!"

Gwen smirked. "Well, he did say that he's as gay as you are hot."

Jack dropped the brush onto the table and erupted into laughter. "And how gay do you think he is then?"

Gwen grinned. "Oh, at least twenty percent..."

Jack held his hand to his forehead dramatically. "No! I'm not hot enough to convert Ianto!" he shrieked, moving his other hand to his heart.

Gwen laughed. "And I haven't even told you how hot he is yet..."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Am I going to need a cold shower?"

Gwen laughed. "Oh I don't know…"

"How hot, Gwen?"

"I'm not going to tell you. I want my hair nice this time."

"Tell me later?"

"Maybe."

"Only maybe?"

"We'll call it a tip. It all depends on how nice my hair turns out…"

"You doubt my marvellous hair dressing skills - I'm wounded," Jack gasped theatrically.

"I don't know how good your skills are Mr Harkness."

"Well, it depends on the situation darling, but you won't be finding out the interesting ones sweetie. I'm gay."

Gwen laughed. "Damn, always the hot ones."

"Yes!" Jack cheered. "You admit I'm hot!"

Gwen jumped forward towards the mirror. "I want the dye on my hair Jack, not on my clothes!"

Jack grinned. "Sorry chick!" He wiped the runaway dye off with his hand and kissed her forehead. "God, I'm acting just like I do with Tosh when with you, and I've known you thirty minutes!"

Gwen grinned. "I'll take that as a compliment then."

Jack laughed. "You should."

"I'm glad."

Putting the finishing touches on her hair, Jack pulled the table with the used tubs of dye and brushes on and moved them into the washing area from whence Gwen heard hurrying footsteps.

Jack laughed. "Don't worry, you aren't late!" He came back out from round the corner and smiled at Gwen. "Coffee? Tea? Water?"

Gwen smiled. "Water please. I only drink coffee made by a certain Welshman."

Jack raised his eyebrow. "And this Welshman, is he single? And gay?"

"He's single, suspected gay and his fabulous coffee is an added bonus. "

Jack grinned. "Gotta love a man who knows his way around a coffee machine..."

"I certainly hope he gets to find his way around your coffee machine Jack!" cried Gwen.

Jack laughed hysterically. "I hope that is not a euphemism, Miss Cooper."

"And if it is?"

"Then it has to be the most delicious one invented."

"Nope, that would be Ianto's coffee."

"Ianto's coffee is a euphemism for sex?"

"Oh yes, it's as good as."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "See, now I _have_ to meet him!"

"Why?" Gwen enquired, her face slightly red from the laughing.

"Because I want him to show me how to work his coffee machine and maybe taste the finished product."

That did it for Gwen. She laughed hysterically and grabbed her phone, tapping out a response to Ianto whilst laughing. '_My hairdresser wishes to meet you. He wishes to be shown all aspects of your coffee machine and possibly taste it.'_

Within seconds she had a reply. '_Well, what are his coffee preferences like? I bloody hope it isn't instant!'_

Laughing, Gwen read it out to Jack who smiled. "No honey, never instant. You need to have time to stew the beans first."

Gwen giggled as she texted Ianto back, repeating what Jack had told her.

'_Well, I have all the time in the world now.'_

Jack grinned. "Age, sex, location?"

Gwen laughed. "Let me ask him." She quickly sent the text and was surprised to see that answer come through not even five minutes later. _'Age: 27. Sex: Four stars. Location: Name a place.'_

Snorting in a much undignified manner, Gwen showed Jack the text.

He grinned wolfishly. "Well, bring him to get a haircut!"

"I'm sure you'd give him a very dignified and possibly intimate one."

Jack smiled softly. "For all the flirting I do, I am actually looking to settle down. This Ianto though...he seems rather witty."

"That's only on a Sunday."

"But today is Tuesday..."

"He has the spare time now."

An hour later, Jack was stood behind the till whilst Gwen, feeling extremely happy with her hair, handed him the cash to pay.

Smiling, Jack asked, "Do you wish to book an advanced appointment Miss Cooper?"

"Oh, sweetie, call me Gwen, and yes, I do. One for two, please?"

"Two o'clock?"

"No honey, two people."

Jack nodded. "Six weeks time. How's the fifth of May at twelve forty five?"

"Brilliant!" Gwen smiled.

Jack grinned. "And who is the second person?"

"Ianto Jones."

Jack laughed. "Mr. Coffee Machine?"

Gwen grinned. "I dare you to pencil him in as that."

Jack laughed. "Never dare me Gwen, I _will_ do it."

"Good, that is the point of a dare." A female voice called out as the women who had spoken appeared round the corner.

"Tosh!" Jack grinned. "Caught up on the sleep yet?"

Tosh grinned. "I was late."

"No you weren't, not drastically anyway. You need the sleep honey."

Tosh smiled at Gwen. "I'm Tosh. I'm Jack's hairdresser."

"Oh, so it's _you_ who makes his hair look so fabulous."

"Oh no! I just work for him." Tosh smiled. "He keeps me sane when Owen annoys me."

"Owen's her stunningly handsome husband, who is a doctor on paternity leave with their kid."

Gwen laughed. "Congratulations."

Tosh smiled. "Thank you. I come in one afternoon a week to wash up and tidy. As much as I would love to stay home, even on Owen's salary we can't afford it at the moment; and I'm too independent for my own good."

Gwen shook her head. "You should be resting."

"Thank you!" Jack crowed. "I've been trying to tell her this for months."

Tosh blushed.

Jack hugged her. "You've cleaned! Now go home and bond with the baby. I'll be round later once I've shut up the shop."

"Fine," Tosh sighed.

Jack smiled and watched her go before turning back to Gwen. "So, I'll be seeing you and Mr. Coffee Machine on the fifth of May then."

Gwen grinned as she pulled on her coat and headed out into the Cardiff rain, her umbrella poised ready for opening. "Cya then Jack."

* * *

It was six weeks later and Jack hadn't been able to get 'Mr Coffee Machine' out of his head. He had never laid eyes on the man, and yet he was the faceless person in every single one of Jack's dreams and he also starred in some of Jack's day dreams as well.

It was a quiet day and Jack was enjoying the moment. Today, he would finally get to meet the faceless man from his dreams. He cranked the music up and continued to brush up singing along with the music. "Nine till five, what a way to make a living. Barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving. They just use your mind, and you never get the credit. It's enough to drive you...crazy if you let it!"

"Unfortunately, I drove them crazy."

Jack spun on the spot and dropped the brush. He felt the colour rise in his cheeks as he turned his megawatt smile onto the person he recognised.

"Hello again, Miss Cooper."

"Jack." Gwen grinned, hurrying over to hug him. "How are you?"

"Peachy." Jack smiled and turned to the man who had entered the salon with Gwen. "And you must be...Mr Coffee Machine. Am I right?"

The man grinned. "Going by what I have been told about Gwen's last visit, I'm going to have to nod in agreement." Stepping forward he offered his hand. "But seriously, I'm Mr Jones, Ianto Jones."

Jack grinned. "Nice to meet you Jones, Ianto Jones. I'm Jack Harkness."

Ianto smiled and moved to stand beside Gwen.

Jack disappeared behind the till unit to grab some cards and when Ianto wasn't looking mouthed to Gwen, a shocked expression on his face, 'HE is single?'

Gwen grinned and nodded her head once. Jack raised his eyebrow and shook his head sighing.

"Are you two talking behind my back?" Ianto enquired.

"No! No! Definitely not!" Gwen reassured Ianto.

"Your expression does not reassure me, Gwen."

Gwen grinned. "Nope, but..." She rounded on Jack. "Jack here is going to give you a _fabulous_ hair cut, and dye my hair. My roots are coming through."

Smiling, Jack shook his head. "What can I do for you, Ianto?"

Ianto glanced into the mirror and ran a hand through his hair. "If you tame this beast, I'll let you rummage in my coffee machine," he groaned.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "I get the feeling that was not an entirely innocent remark Mr Jones..."

Ianto grinned. "I only do innocent remarks."

Jack laughed. "Oh really?"

Ianto smiled. "Yes, really."

Jack cleared his throat to distract himself as he ushered Ianto into a nearby chair. "So, what have you had done to your hair recently?"

"I've only ever had it trimmed."

"Trimmed? Oh dear."

Ianto raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Should I have had more done Mr Harkness?"

Jack smiled. "Each to their own, but you have a gorgeous colour of hair so I won't dye it. I think we need to style it, definitely."

"Just tame it, please. Before I shave it _all_ off."

Jack paled. "No, we do not _ever_ threaten to shave hair this gorgeous off."

Gwen smiled as she watched the two men interact. She could almost see the chemistry crackling in the air around them. She smiled as she watched Ianto eye Jack up when he thought no one was watching. He seemed to have forgotten she was with him, and she was glad. Ianto hadn't had much luck in relationships and if Jack was looking to settle down, she was almost certain they would be perfect together.

Jack caught her eye in the mirror as Ianto skimmed over a few magazines the hairdresser had provided him with to pick a style which Jack would then attempt with Ianto's hair.

'You like?' she mouthed.

Jack smiled. 'Oh yeah,' he mouthed back. He turned back to Ianto and pointed out a hairstyle he thought would suit him.

"Tosh!" Jack called.

"Yes, Jack?" a voice sounded from the back of the salon.

"Can you colour Miss Cooper for me whilst I work on Mr Jones?"

"Sure, Jack." Tosh appeared, this time looking more rested and with a beaming smile on her face. "Hiya Gwen!"

Gwen smiled. "Hello, how's baby?"

Tosh grinned. "He's perfect. We called him Jamie Harper."

Gwen grinned. "Adorable, how old is he now?" she asked, moving into the chair next to Ianto as Tosh pulled over the colouring table and set it up beside them.

"He's twelve weeks old now."

Jack grinned. "And showing he's going to be into mischief."

"Take after his uncle then." Tosh raised a pointed eyebrow at Jack.

"He's you're nephew?" Gwen asked, looking at Jack.

"In every way that matters; my friends are my family. Owen is, by law, my step-brother, so yes. My real family abandoned me when I said I wanted to be a hairdresser and not go and work in the RAF like my brother and father."

"Sorry." Gwen looked ashamed.

"You weren't to know. Now, Mr Jones, what do you say to me getting snippy?"

"As long as it's _my_ hair you're snipping, Jack."

Jack grinned. "Let's not get carried away, Mr Jones."

"Call me Ianto. Mr Jones was my father."

Jack raised a quirky eyebrow. "Now that _would_ be interesting."

As Jack set to work on Ianto's hair, cutting and snipping and styling, Ianto found himself trying to catch Gwen's eyes while noticing that the music represented the flamboyant American rather well. He managed to catch his friend's attention when Jack moved to collect some products and leaned over, whispering, "Single?" in her ear.

Gwen nodded. "Oh yes, and by the looks of things he's _very_ interested Ianto."

"He's gorgeous, Gwen…"

"Ask him out."

Ianto sighed. "What's he gonna see in me?"

Jack, who had overheard the last sentence, was unsure of what to do. He noticed that Gwen's eyes had flashed with a look of anger and decided to give them a minute, heading over to Tosh who was washing the dyeing pots in the back room.

"What's up, Jack?"

"Ianto doesn't think he's worthy from the sound of things. "

"Were you eavesdropping?"

"Nope, was heading back to finish his hair up and they were whispering."

Tosh smiled. "Ask him out, give him your number; show him you are interested. I've seen him checking you out, Jack. When you bent over to pick the hairbrush up, I really thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head."

Jack laughed. "It's always my ass..."

"It's the coffee machine," Tosh grinned.

Jack laughed. "Yes, it's a glorified door stop. Neither me, you, Owen or John could get it to work."

"Maybe it needs the right touch." Tosh smiled gently. "Jack, the worst he can do is say no."

Jack nodded. "Okay, I'll think of something."

Heading back out into the main area, Jack noticed Ianto and Gwen were still whispering so he announced his arrival by calling out, "Mousse or gel?" to Ianto.

Ianto and Gwen jumped apart and Ianto skimmed the products quickly. "Mousse," he responded, his eyes never leaving Jack's.

"You okay?" Jack asked.

Ianto grinned. "I've had a gorgeous hairdresser snipping my hair, why wouldn't I be?"

Jack chuckled. "You think I'm gorgeous?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Gwen, Ianto and Tosh all rounded on him.

"Jeez! Surround sound much," he laughed. "And yes, I look in the mirror all day, thank you."

"Oh, so that's why you chose to became a hairdresser, so you could eye yourself up in the mirror?" Ianto smiled.

Laughing, Jack responded: "Well, it started off as a stopwatch, you know. Time myself on how long it took me to give customers a number four..."

Ianto blushed. "Is that all?"

"Well, there are plenty of things to do with a stopwatch that are lots more fun." Jack winked as he styled Ianto's hair, using the mousse to control it. "Of course, you'd know this."

"I would?"

"Well, Gwen mentioned you worked at Nicky Clarke. I'm sure you must have experimented with some of the stopwatch exercises at some point..."

"Actually, it was all about the tech there."

"Really?" Jack feigned shock.

"Oh yes, straighteners that could actually _curl _your hair as well!"

Jack was astounded. "No! What happened to good old fashioned curling tongs?"

Ianto winked. "Oh, didn't you hear? They got classified as alien technology..."

Jack laughed. "What? Were they labelled as an alien probing device?"

"Well, after what some people did with them, Jack, I'm not surprised."

Jack shuddered. "Eww! I leave college for a year and people are already screwing with the equipment!"

Ianto, Gwen and Tosh snorted at Jack's over-dramatic statement.

An hour later, Ianto and Gwen were getting ready to leave and Jack was still trying to work up the courage to let Ianto know he was interested. Unbeknownst to him, Ianto had the same dilemma.

Ianto paid for his hair cut and Gwen for hers and still they were reluctant to leave. Jack made another appointment for Gwen and Ianto in another six weeks time.

"And this time when you arrive, I promise I won't be singing with the sweeping brush."

Gwen grinned. "I liked the entertainment."

Jack smiled before nervously turning to Ianto. "Look, this is completely out of character for me but, you know, if you wanted to... Dinner? Movie?"

Gwen and Tosh glanced at each other, fighting back smiles. Finally, one of them had made a move.

Ianto quirked his eyebrow and asked, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Interested?"

Ianto nodded. "Yeah, as long as it's not in a hair salon- some fetishes should be kept to yourself."

Jack grinned. "No curling tongs then?"

Ianto grinned and pulled out his phone, which he slid across to Jack. "That's my number."

Jack grinned and copied the number into his phone before tapping his into Ianto's. "I'll call you when I shut."

Ianto grinned. "What time?"

"We shut at five."

"Nine till five then?"

Jack laughed. "Yeah, most of the time." He found himself being uncharacteristically shy around the Welshmen.

Ianto smiled. "I'll speak later then."

Jack grinned. "Definitely."

Gwen and Tosh high fived each other as Jack ducked his head and Ianto smiled shyly. "Oh, and Jack?" Ianto added as he and Gwen headed for the door.

"Yes?"

"I'm sure if you roast your beans long enough, you'll certainly be able to explore my coffee machine."

As the door fell shut, it was on a hysterical Jack Harkness.

* * *

At five that evening, after Jack had bid farewell to the final customer and to Tosh, he locked the door and was pulling his phone out of his pocket when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Spinning around at the unexpected contact, he found himself face to face with Ianto.

"Ianto!" he gasped.

Ianto smiled and pushed Jack into an alley. "I know we haven't been on date one yet, but I've been wanting to kiss you all day."

Jack grinned. "I won't stop you," he murmured.

"Good." Ianto smiled as he pulled Jack into a chaste kiss, full of passion and a hint of what was to come.

"What say we go and get dinner? I know a nice little French place down by the bay."

Ianto grinned. "Sounds perfect."

THE END.

AN- Lyrics in this song belong to their respective artists...I just borrowed them:)


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